My Name is Punch (Storytelling-Wk1)

“PUNCH and Judy
Fought for a pie;
Punch gave Judy
A sad blow on the eye.”

My name is Punch and just like my name entails I just love to punch. I like to punch the wall, I like to punch my toys, I like to punch my food, most of all I like to punch a spoon so food can land in Judy’s eye.

commission__two_sisters_by_gigei-d5wlsmp
Two Sisters: DeviantArt

That’s my sister, Judy. She’s 7 years old and at 10 I’m far to old to have to deal with her. There are good days, where she walks in the park and holds my hands and picks sunflowers, than their our bad days, when I have my friends over and she just won’t go away. She’s pesky and she’s small. Most of all she always gets me in trouble.

————————————————————————–

“Punch McGee, you get right in here this instant!” said mother. Sulking and shuffling her feet toward the entrance, in the kitchen, she stifled a laugh at her little sister. “I don’t see how this is funny, Punch. What did I tell you about punching ketchup packets all over your sister!? Look at her she’s a mess.” Judy looks up at her mother adoringly, and Punch felt a twinge of anger fly through her ” Ahh… mom, what’s the big deal? We were just playing. ” Punch, was casual about such things, after all. Is it really her fault her little sister didn’t know to move when she was punching something? After all, its no secret she likes to punch.

Hands on her hip and a disappointed look on her face. “Don’t you dare young lady, I know very well you intended to do it, there will be no dessert for you tonight”. No dessert! No dessert! Whoever heard of no dessert. Surely, this is the cruelest punishment yet. “Give me no TV, give me no friends over a week, but let me keep my sweets!”. She was pleading now, and attempting that adoring look her sister had mastered. “Nuh Uh, you little lady are to have no sweets, I guess we will just have to eat all the pie. Huh, Judy?”. Judy smiled big and shook her head yes, an air of accomplishment on her face, that her mother chose to ignore. Not Punch though, Punch noticed and she new just what to do about it. After all, she was the oldest.

After kissing the top of Judy’s head, her mother left the kitchen, a fresh pie in the fridge waiting to be eaten, after dinner. Whistling nonchalantly she went over to the refrigerator and took out the pie full of cherries and sugary goodness. Judy, being Judy wasn’t going to let it slide “Mom said you couldn’t have any?! I’ll tell!”. Of course, Punch knew she would. Reaching across the counter Judy began to pull the pie away from Punch. “No Punch!”, “Yes Judy!” fighting and fighting, Punch suddenly grinned and let the pie go. Stumbling backwards the pie landed on Judy’s shirt, making smears of cherry, she looked up at Punch in shock. This time it was different this time she didn’t punch. “Now your in big trouble!” screamed Judy. With a little pie left, Punch slammed her fist in it and it splattered in Judy’s eye. As Judy jumped back a little she chuckled, she licked her lips. “I always liked cherries”. Her initial shock, worn off the hilarity of it all hitting home.

surprise
Anime Pie Face Girls: DeviantArt

————————————————————————– 

That’s my sister Judy. She may be small, she may be a pest, and a times she can be annoying, but she makes me laugh. She makes me laugh so hard that I don’t think I can talk for a week. Most of all, sometimes, just sometimes, she has my back and prevents a few dozen (more) weeks worth of dessert-less nights. An occasionally, she doesn’t mind when I punch.

Author’s Note: The rhyme reminded me a lot of Ramona and Beezus by  Beverly Cleary and I thought that I could write something a long those lines. I saw the humor in the short rhyme and I wanted to showcase that. Then the sibling aspect really stemmed from my own relationship with my sister. The whole let’s be slightly evil to one another and then laugh at the absurdity of it all. Just basic sibling interaction, with a few punches and pies.

Bibliography: This story is based on the tale/nursery rhyme “Punch” in The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang (1897).

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4 thoughts on “My Name is Punch (Storytelling-Wk1)

  1. Hi Jessica,

    This was a really cute story to read. It totally reminded me of Ramona and Beezus! I used to read Beverly Clearly books like they were going out of style.

    I don’t have a sibling (I do have a case of only child syndrome) and so I would imagine that this is what having siblings is like. I liked that you kept the story pretty light and fun. There are many paths that one could take to tell a tale about sibling rivalry. Your writing style really accentuates the story you are trying to tell, too.

    My only suggestion is breaking the dialogue into separate paragraphs. My reason for saying that is because I felt that it was sometimes swallowed up in your formatting. I love the dialogue itself, but I think it would be easier to read and stand out more if you format a tad differently.

    Other than that, I think you did a wonderful job on your storytelling post. You are really creative and I enjoy that you (stylistically) referenced another story within your story. Good job! I look forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester!

    Like

  2. This was definitely a fun little story to read. Once I read in your author’s note that the inspiration for this story was Ramona and Beezus, I completely got it! I read those stories too way back in the day.

    The sibling rivalry interaction between Punch and Judy was pretty awesome. I have two sisters. They are currently grown adults. They still act like this sometimes! So I completely see how the conflict theme of Man versus Man was built in for this story.

    The one aspect I didn’t like about the characters was the resolution. It didn’t feel real to have Judy all upset, all covered in pie and then just start laughing. Also it is pretty anticlimactic for a third act resolution. You know that Judy is now going to get blamed and thus punished for the pie being destroyed for dinner. Also now her cloths are ruined. I see these to kids and lower middle class, so how is her mother going to react to that? Why the sudden sympathy to not tell mom the truth? For kids it feels right for there to be turning point here that makes Judy decide to take the fall for the dessert.

    I did love the character arcs for Judy. You could tell the complete arc from mad, to the pleading look, to the self-satisfied look. You may want to revisit this story and see how Punch can have more of an arc. The arc of being spiteful to pleading then back to acting spiteful, while real, doesn’t give as much depth to the character.

    I do love the dialog in this piece. Some people have a real issue with being able to write good dialog that draws the audience in. Your dialog keeps the audience involved in the story and does not break the 5th wall to take the audience out of the story. Also completely accurate for the type of characters you are writing!
    Anyway I enjoyed checking out your piece of the digital world today! Keep up the great work!

    Like

  3. Hi, Jessica!
    First, I like the background of your blog! I think you’re the first person I’ve seen use something other than blogger, and I think that probably took some extra commitment!
    You did a great job of bringing the characters to life with your descriptions right off the bat; I think so many people can relate to that idea of an annoying, yet lovable, little sister. Your author’s note did a really good job of giving a little bit on insight as to why you chose the style you did—what a good idea to use Ramona and Beezus as inspiration! I think you pulled off that playful, sisterly tone very well. You also did a great job of describing the struggle for the pie in such a way that it really seemed to come alive; I could practically see the look on Judy’s face when the pie crashes into her shirt.
    Overall, you took a simple rhyme and made it into a fun and lively narrative. Nicely done!

    Like

  4. Hi Jessica,

    I enjoyed reading your story, and how you displayed the sibling interaction between Punch and Judy. I laughed at the part where Judy shakes head and smiles because Punch was denied dessert after dinner. It reminded me of how I acted towards my older brother when I was younger, and how my younger brother acted towards me whenever I was in trouble for something. The story was very descriptive, and I like the pictures that you chose.

    Like

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